Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
