my phone needs a breathalizer
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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