i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
