Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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