hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
