There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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