Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
