i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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