I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
