Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
