who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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