Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
