Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize