Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
