I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
