im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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