remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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