Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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