I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
