The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
