I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You need a sexual gate keeper
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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