haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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