How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
