My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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