can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
She has the best kind of daddy issues
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize