I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
oh god the rape fog is back!
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
