i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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