Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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