i'm signing you up for texting rehab
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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