with your own penis?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
