White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
