I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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