He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
FUCK WHALES
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