hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
