I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
