we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
