It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
