oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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