Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
