You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
