he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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