I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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