i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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