and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
