Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize