You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
one might say we're banned from that church
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Who died my cat blue again?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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