Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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