Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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