im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
