Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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